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Birthday’s and Milestones

on June 29, 2015

Today Alexander would have been 6 years old.  He should have just finished up kindergarten and be moving on to 1st grade.   But alas, he is not.  He is forever 21 months old.  21 months 3 days old to be exact.  Elizabeth turned that age on June 24th.  Both my girls are now older than their brother ever was (big giant sigh…..)

We once again had Oreo Cookie Day on June 25th.  If you missed it this year, don’t worry!  ANY day is a good day to eat Oreo’s and to celebrate LIFE!!!

Today was overall a good day.  Julia had a little camp to go to in the morning.  We went and got Alexander a birthday balloon, but did not have a chance to bring it to him as she had her 3 year check up today.  All is well with her!

This afternoon, we went to Build a Bear, so Julia could get a new friend with a gift card she got for her Birthday.   When I was pregnant with Alexander, my birthday fell on President’s day that year.  Build a Bear sent me a Free Bear to celebrate! (but sadly I didn’t get one this year!)  I choose a Bunny.  Alexander never got to play with the bunny, but I have slept with it ever since he died.  It was “his” bunny, so I feel close to him when I have it.  Well, Miss Julia also likes my bunny, and will sometimes “borrow” it!  Today, she picked out her OWN bunny to have! (Whew! no more sharing for mommy!)   Because it was Alexander’s birthday, I wanted to do a kindness in his name.  I bought a gift card, and had written a note about it being Alexander’s birthday, and that he had died from STUPID cancer.  I also put a few of my favorite Facebook pages about Childhood cancer on it. There was a family in the store with a little boy who looked to be about 6 years old.  We choose him to give it to.  Julia handed the boy the card,  and I told the mom and grandma, that there was a note explaining why he was getting the card.  (lest they think we were scary people – heck they might have thought it anyway!!)

Tonight we had a special dinner of Lobsters (because it is summer and why the heck not!?) and I got an Oreo Ice Cream Cake.  Julia enjoyed putting the candles on, and wearing a party hat, singing, and blowing out the candles for Alexander.  I have seen other friends do similar things, and I had never thought to do it.  But this year, now that Julia is getting older and is understanding more, it just seemed to be right to celebrate this way.

Julia turned 3 last week.  Poor thing was sick on her birthday with a fever.  I had a bit of PTSD over this.  Alexander had a wonderful 1st birthday, but the next day he woke up with 103 fever.  He spent 27 days in the hospital including some time in the PICU.   Deep down I knew Julia just had a virus or cold, but that PTSD has a nasty way of sneaking up on you!!!

Julia will be going to pre-school in the fall.  Another milestone Alexander didn’t get to achieve.  But, I am feeling good about it.  I have been working with a new therapist on PTSD, and moving FORWARD (not, not moving ON – but FORWARD).   Yes, there many be moments that I am sad that Alexander never got to go to school.  However, right now I am much more filled with JOY that Julia IS going to school!  I already have a backpack for her, and I look forward to going to the store in August to pick out some school supplies for her.  We had a little orientation that was held in the Library.  I remembered going to the library when I was in school, and getting to order from the Scholastic Book fair.  I was excited to think about all the new things she was going to learn at school!


4 responses to “Birthday’s and Milestones

  1. I love this post because I can relate to every word! And I’m inspired by ” moving forward not moving on” beautiful. I’ve been thinking about you, your girls, Richard and ESP. Alexander and the popcorn popper and laughing.

  2. Karne says:

    I love Alexander’s song and I have always LOVED the little skeleton outfit that I see in the first frame of the freeze frame for the thumbnail. Gabriel had a skeleton outfit that was similar. I cannot even imagine how difficult today was, but I am glad that you found some joy in it also. A friend of mine posted a video of a beautiful rainbow. I also saw a video of a FULL circle rainbow today. I don’t know why they both made me think of Alexander, but they did. Almost like he sent them. I can just imagine him, at the age of 6, coloring LOTS of rainbows because of all the stories you have told him about God’s promises. I’m sure you tell him stories all the time. I love the picture of Julia in the party hat blowing out the candles. Gabriel and I had more Oreos for Alexander today. My mom bought Elisha cookies and cream ice cream and they had some of the other campers over for ice cream. Elisha NEVER eats anything with oreos in it that she doesn’t mention Alexander, so I am sure that she told the girls all about him.

    Hugs and love!

  3. ellenhs says:

    This is such a beautiful song and video!!!! Sending love to Alexander in heaven and love to you guys on this special day. ❤

  4. sdebassio says:

    Nancy, Thanks for sharing this..I love the act of kindness to the little 6 year old boy in the store and how Julia is old enough to celebrate her brother’s birthday in a tangible way. I can’t believe Elizabeth is already over 21 months! yikes, they are close in age. I am happy that you are happy to have Julia start pre school…. those early school years are so precious and fun and I know you will appreciate and enjoy them in ways others won’t. all my love, sue

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