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Halloween and PTSD

on October 28, 2013

A lot of my Angel Mom friends have been posting this week about the stress around Halloween coming up this week.  It is a hard time for them, because it was their child’s favorite Holiday and they wonder what they might have been.  Or as one of my friends wrote on her blog “She could have been anything she wanted. 3 is the perfect age to be anything you want. If only she could have been 3.

Because Alexander was so young, we did not take him out for Halloween, although he did have some costumes.

His First Halloween

IMG_0021  halloween 2009



Alexander was actually HOME from the hospital on Halloween!  We did still put him in a costume, and took him to two neighbors houses to say hello





The next day he had an MRI – so we thought we would “help” them find everything they needed.  Richard thought it would be funny to put the bucket on his head.  He was very good at balancing it!


pre-mri 11.1


Some of my (cancer family) friends talk about how they suffer from PTSD.  I have written about that in the past too.

It is a terrible thing – you have a child that was so sick, then died – you worry about your other children getting sick and dying also. One of my friends, whose son was a twin – had a really hard time last week, because her surviving son was sick and was showing some of the same “signs” as her son that had died!  I know that even with Julia I have had some issues worrying about her!

About a month ago, she fell and broke her leg!  I was coming in the front door, holding the door and a package, and she decided to take a step out the door!  We took her to the doctor and had an x-ray.  The next day she had to get a cast.  We went to the Floating Hospital for Children where Alexander was treated.  Orthopedics was one of the few departments that Alexander did NOT see!  I choose that hospital over one of the other Children’s hospital, because it is familiar to us.  I don’t have issues going back there as they took such wonderful care of Alexander (although I do wonder, if he had died there if I would have issues)   She is getting her cast off on Friday, November 1st.  She will need an x-ray. I thought about putting her in the skeleton costume for fun.  Then I realized that it was 3 years ago, on November 1st, that we took Alexander in the same costume to the hospital for his MRI.  Yup….there comes the PTSD.




One response to “Halloween and PTSD

  1. Jackie Goodell says:

    I am not where you are, but I picture myself there frequently. Whenever I am alone with the 2 little ones I think, “This could be it. This could be life without Andrew.” I torture myself with that but I really cannot fully imagine what that reality would be, your reality. Thinking of you! Always reading and following the awesome pics on facebook. I hope you, Julia and Elizabeth enjoy Halloween.
    Jackie Goodell

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