thecookiegal

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Mother’s Day

on May 10, 2012

This is a re-post  from last year. I added a little at the end.  I also added a poem to the end of it.  Sending Love and Prayers out to all those that are without their children for the first time this year.

So tomorrow is Mother’s Day.   A Day to celebrate mom.  For some this can be a wonderful joyous day – for others not so much.

Perhaps you had a bad relationship with your mom – or maybe mom was abusive – if that is the case, then you would likely not want to celebrate her!

Perhaps your mom has died, and it is a sad day for you, because it reminds you of all that you have lost.

Perhaps you don’t have a “mom” in your life – again, a day filled with sad reminders for all you don’t have.

Perhaps you CAN’T have children, and want nothing more than to be a mom.  Sadness again.

Perhaps you have chosen to NOT have children you are frustrated that you can’t buy roses this week, because the prices has doubled from last week just because of this “holiday”

Or perhaps you are in a situation such as mine where you child is no longer with you here on earth.  It is a very sad place to be.

Before I was pregnant with Alexander, I was pregnant with our first child.  We were so very happy.  Sadly we lost that child about 7 weeks into the pregnancy.  That child, who we decided was a girl and named Sarah, would have been born on mothers day. Not a happy day for me.

When I was again pregnant, this time with Alexander, I was still having nausea! Again, mother’s day not so thrilling, because I was sick!

Last year, my “first” Mother’s day – we spent it in the hospital.  Alexander had been admitted for 1 night, and it turned into 5 weeks.  While, Richard and I were ale to enjoy a nice meal out thanks to a gift from an Aunt, it was not really a happy day for us.

And then that brings us to this year – can it get any worse?   I have read all the poems about how I am “still a mommy even if my baby is in heaven” – but that doesn’t make it any easier, or make it hurt any less.   I don’t feel like a mother any more – I just feel a sadness and emptiness inside.

So on this Mother’s Day, give your mom an extra big hug and kiss, and pray for those who on this day, are filled with sadness and heartache.

  First time Holding Alexander

Mother’s Day 2010

Mother's Day 2010

Additions for 2012

So, last year, mother’s day ended up being okay.  My awesome sister send me a yummy edible arrangement.  I went for a nice walk with my very good friend and her children.  When I came home, there was a note for “Mommy” on the table.  It was “from” Alexander.  It was very nice – yes, it made me cry, but it was very kind and thoughtful too.    My mom bought me a special Crystal Butterfly for our collection (Butterflies have become special signs of Alexander to us)  Overall, while sad, it was a good day.

I found this poem – I don’t know who wrote it though

I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother and I know I heard Him Say…
I just had a baby, this I know is true, but God can you be a mother when
your baby is not with you?
Yes, you can He replied, with confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, and others for a day.
And some I send to fill your womb, but there’s no need to stay.
I just don’t understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a deep breath, cleared His throat and then I saw His tears…
I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other children and hear him say…
“I went to earth to learn a lesson of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mommy who has so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly, my mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy so very much, and I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep at night, on her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and I whisper in her ear,
“Mommy don’t be sad, I’m your baby and I am here.”
So, you see my dear sweet one, your baby is not sad nor blue.
Your baby is here in My Home, and at Heaven’s Gate he will wait for you.
So now you see what makes a mother, it’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you had so much of right from the start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother
until their time is done,
they’ll be up here with Me one day
and know you were the best one!

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2 responses to “Mother’s Day

  1. Erin says:

    My love and prayers are with you during this raw weekend as well, Nancy.

  2. Crystal says:

    My love to you as well…maybe you won’t be up for a walk this Sunday, but I’ll be around later in the day for ice cream if you’d like! 🙂

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