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The Most “Wonderful” Time of the Year?

Ah – Christmas – yes I said CHRISTMAS – not “Holiday”.   The song goes “it is the most wonderful time of the year?  But is it?  No, not for everyone.  Last year at this time we were in the hospital – what a way to spend Christmas – with your child in the hospital!  Sure, Santa came – and the family came, but it just wasn’t the same.  This year we visited a friend whose child is in the hospital – they did their best to make it wonderful, but really, it is the hospital – no matter how many decorations you put up, it just plain stinks!

This year of course was our first without Alexander.  It would have only been his 3rd Christmas.  How is it possible that he only had ONE good Christmas in his life?

As I mentioned in my last post, I have followed some other families in the same horrible journey we are in.  I thought of them a lot – their children died such a short time ago – not that it is any easier that Alexander has been gone for 9 months (Yes, 9 months already!)  but, still – it is so new, so hard – still in that numb stage.

Then there are the “regular” people in the world – those that aren’t living in the cancer world.  I was getting pretty frustrated with them this year.  Going on about the stupid “elf on the shelf” – how to get their kids to behave – how to wrap all the presents!  Cookies, shopping, parties to go to!  Looking back, I honestly don’t remember getting so stressed over Christmas – maybe because I didn’t have kids, I don’t know.  But it seems to me, if it is THAT stressful, then something needs to change!  In our house, Santa NEVER wrapped presents (well, one year he did because I asked for it – but that was it!)  I have a friend that says Santa only brings 3 gifts because that is what the Baby Jesus got – sounds like a good idea to me.   A woman I worked with had so much “holiday baking” to do, that she started back in October, and she kept things frozen until it was time for them.  Does anyone really need that many sweets?

Several years ago, and article on CNN talked about how “tough” it was for one family at Christmas – after all, last year they “Spent $600 on their 3 year old”!  They claimed it included many clothes.  Umm…..most three year olds I know are pretty much happy with ANYTHING they get, and clothes – it is called a SALES RACK (my mom got Alexander a winter Jacket last year – $60 – I think she paid $10 after the sale and coupon”

So often in our society, people get confused over WANTS vs NEED.  That is what is often what is leading people in to such big debt (a topic I will cover in another blog)

So – how can we go back to making this a truly WONDERFUL time of the year?

1.  Stop Stressing so much!!  Do only what you CAN – don’t go over board, and don’t worry if it isn’t all “perfect”

2.  Do something to GIVE BACK – Giving is great anytime of year, but Christmas there always seems to be a bigger need.  Buy a toy or two for the Toys for Tots, drop those coins in the red kettle, find a family to adopt.  It doesn’t have to be big.  Last year, my little cousin who I think is 10, got her friend and her brother together and they made enough Christmas cards so that every kid in the hospital would get one!  Such a simple thing, but so very meaningful!

3.   Sometimes LESS can be MORE!

4.  You CAN say NO!


I hope you all have a very safe and Happy New Year!




I sometimes follow other kids carepages, even those that I do not know.  I had stopped for a while after Alexander died, because it was just too hard.  But, there were two that I did follow, because they were both very public and open with their stories.
Both of those little girls died this week.   Both from neuroblastoma.   The first little girl, Charlotte was 5 years old.  She fought against this evil disease for 2.5 years.

The second little girl was named Saorise.  She only fought for 7 MONTHS.  From what I have read on her families blog, her death, much like Alexander’s was very sudden and unexpected.

We had Alexander for 13 months after he was diagnosed.   No matter how short or how long, it is never enough.  It is so sad that these kids have to go through all of this chemo, surgery, radiation and CRAP only to still die!!!  Unless you have lived it, you can not imagine how hard it is to watch poison be put into your beautiful childs veins – knowing that it will make him sick, but yet knowing that the poison is his best chance at growing up to become a fine young man.

The amount of funding – or rather lack there of – that childhood cancer’s receive compared to other cancers – and other diseases is appalling.   It is as if these kids don’t “matter”.   But they DO matter.  The children are the ones that will grow up and change the world!   If we can’t save the kids, then what will become of our world?

Earlier this week we went into Boston to see a quilt that was made up of many different Angels.  All of these Angels have died from cancer.  It was a site to see.  Someone said “awesome” on my photo. And yes, in some ways it is awesome, because it was so beautiful.  But really, it was sad, because of how many Angels there were – and it keeps getting bigger.

The organization, Make Noise 4 Kids.  Was started by a boy who was able to beat his cancer.  After hearing about the death of a small child on his unit, he knew that someone had to MAKE SOME NOISE about Childhood cancer, and start to raise funds.   His foundation, presented a check for $50,000 to the Dana-Faber cancer research group.  This was wonderful – but sadly, they could not get one media group to cover this.  They were told that it wasn’t a “local” enough story.  Ummm…hello!?!?!  You have THREE children’s hospitals in this area, all of which treat kids with cancer.  Some of those kids, including my Alexander were on that quilt!  A LOCAL group was receiving a check for $50,000!  How is that not local!?!?

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