(EDITED 8:50PM – MORE ADDED – italics)
I know a question on everyone’s mind is “Are you and Richard going to have more children?” How do I know this? Well, we have had that question asked of us already – in fact, Richard got it from TWO different people on the same day just TWO WEEKS after Alexander had died (and not friends – these were people that were providing Richard a service – dental hygenist and a massage therapist).
The other day someone asked me if I had “given his things away” yet! Hmmm….um, no – not quiet ready for THAT yet, it has only been 3 months!
I am sure people are feeling “sorry” for us that our only child has died and don’t want us to be “alone” in our lives. Please don’t feel sorry for us. Feel glad, that we had our wonderful boy, even if it was for such a short while
So in answer to everyone’s questions – we DO plan on having more children. As to WHEN, well, we don’t know the answer to that one. We aren’t “planning” on getting pregnant this week! But, when the time is right and we are ready we will consider it. We are of course scared – scared of what could happen to another child. Could that child get cancer to? Yes. Is there any more of a chance of this child getting cancer, than Alexander had? We are not sure. Neuroblastoma is not considered to be “genetic” but there are “markers” for the disease, but as to how good the tests are for those, we just don’t know at this time.
So – what can people do? Well, please don’t ask us our plans, because well, I haven’t asked YOU, YOUR plans about future children, I mean, really, is that ANYONES business!?!? Baby making and pregnancy can be a pretty private matter. We had trouble getting pregnant with Alexander in the first place. I know people that CAN’T get pregnant at all – to ask people, especially ones that aren’t your best friends, such person questions can be hurtful. So please be careful, when you are “just trying to be nice”
You CAN continue pray for us – pray that we continue to heal from the pain of Alexander’s death. Each day is different. Some days are easier than others.