thecookiegal

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Some thoughts….

on June 1, 2014

We were off once again to Camp Sunshine last weekend!  (see my previous posts for more details about camp)
http://thecookiegal.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/camp-sunshine/

http://thecookiegal.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/finally-not-different/

During the Moms only discussion group, the leader pointed something out – that is just how MUCH we have been thru in the last 3 years.

1.  Alexander Died

2.  Julia was born

3.  Elizabeth was born (and my friend pointed out to the group how Julia broke he foot when she was just two weeks old and still in the hospital)

4.  Elizabeth had open heart surgery at 6 weeks old

Whew!  Any ONE of those things would be a lot to handle – and I have had ALL of them in just three years.  How I have done it?!?!  Honestly I have no clue at times!

There are many days, I wish I could just stay in bed all day and ignore the world.  I love my girls, but there are many days, I wish I didn’t have to take care of them – that I could just crawl into a hole and be alone.   But, on the other hand, the do give me a reason to get out of bed each day!  It is wonderful to see them smile and being happy (although I am not so sure about the temper tantrums that Julia is getting so good at throwing!)

I have written before about my love/hate relationship with technology  (http://thecookiegal.wordpress.com/2011/06/18/a-love-hate-relaltionship-with-technology/)

Right about now I am in one of the “hate” modes.  Facebook can be wonderful – but it can be very hard at times for those of us living without our children.  Kids are starting to finish school for the summer, and September will be here before we know it, so there have been a LOT of postings about school.

I have been seeing a lot of “Oh my baby is going to kindergarten!  Oh, why does he/she have to grow up so fast!?”   That one has been the hardest for me, because I should be saying that about Alexander.  He would be going to kindergarten in the fall if he were alive.  (and I happen to have a LOT of friends whose children are going off to kindergarten in the fall!)  Deep down I know that my friends are just being poetic about life and how fast it can go sometimes.  I am sure had I not lost Alexander, I would have been doing the same thing.

But for me, right now, I am just waiting for Julia makes it to her SECOND birthday.  From there I will be so HAPPY when she reaches all her milestones that she is “suppose” to be doing!

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One response to “Some thoughts….

  1. The things you wrote about Facebook got me thinking. I was a relative latecomer to FB and I missed all of the “firsts” like kindergarten. I notice that there is a difference between myself and most people in that I don’t get wistful the same way or complain that my surviving kids are growing up too fast. I seem to just be grateful they are alive!

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